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  • 'TWAS THE .NET BEFORE CHRISTMAS...(long)

    The very best holiday wishes to all at ClanRam from your friends at Seahawks.NET!

    ‘Twas the .NET before Christmas and all through the house,
    Not a creature was stirring, and Pithy was soused.
    Plush footballs were hung by the chimney with care,
    In hopes that a playoff soon would be there.

    The forums were dead as the Seahawks.NET clan,
    Dreamt of Cardinals and Niners and busted-up Rams.
    And Aros in his kerchief and Cindy in her cap,
    Had just settled down near a passed-out Kitsap.

    When out on the boards there arose such a clatter,
    Dfarrar sprang up to see what was the matter.
    Away to the window he flew like a flash,
    Stepping over casualties of the recent .NET Bash.

    A hawk on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
    Gave a luster of Xs and Os from below.
    Could this to my wondering eyes please be true,
    It’s Absolutplayer with a cool Cover 2!

    Alas, a little old coordinator, so grumpy and bent,
    I knew it was Rhodesy with that same lame Prevent.
    More slowly than turtles his blitzes they came,
    And he cursed them and bashed them and whacked them with blame!

    “Now, HAMLIN, now, TRUFANT, now, BOULWARE and BROWN,
    Oops, BROWN is still injured and WISTROM is down!
    I suppose I’ll be asked now to scheme such a scheme,
    That my defense will play just like Dfarrar dreams.”

    But lo, in the moonlight, his scheming just stank,
    And his Blitzes went “PHBBBT!” like an old rusty tank.
    It seemed, in the end, that the defense would die,
    No playoffs, just layoffs, and all left to cry!

    And then, in a twinkling, I heard with a bleat,
    The prancing and dancing of each nasty cleat.
    The players rejoiced with a joy ‘fore unknown
    And up came St. Romeo, with his Super Bowl Crown!

    He was dressed in a sweatsuit to warm up his bones,
    And the luster of genius shone from his headphones.
    A bundle of blitzes he had in his sack,
    And he looked like King Belichick as he planned the attack.

    His eyes-how they twinkled – his playbook so merry,
    As he told Alexander he’d get 25 carries!
    “You’ll win when you do this, you’ll lose if you don’t,
    And I’ll run you in a way that the Walrus just won’t.”

    The promise of playoffs he held tight to his chest,
    And he unleashed his schemes in the way they’d work best.
    The Cardinals would first learn of the team’s great rebirth,
    As St. Romeo unleashed a Hell on this Earth.

    St. Dennis and his Cardinals were caught unprepared,
    As the Seahawks moved quickly to gather their share.
    “St. Dennis! St. Dennis!”, his players protested,
    “The Walrus is gone…and we’re getting bested!”

    St. Dennis replied, “Boys, it seems like a lock,
    You better say bye-bye to those Same Old Seahawks.”
    With the Cardinals so vanquished that it seemed like a trick,
    The Seahawks prepared for good old St. Vick.

    But the Falcons had clinched, and St. Vick rode the pine,
    And St. Romeo’s blitzes caught them from behind.
    It was over so quickly that Hass did sit down,
    “On, DILFER…revisit your Super Bowl crown!”

    Good DILFER did so, and the Hawks won the West,
    Hitting the playoffs and playing their best.
    But as they did enter the postseason run,
    Came Steakboy to spoil their marvelous fun!

    He taunted and haunted and flaunted his smack,
    “I know you, you Seahawks…you’re nothing but hacks!”
    But just as it seemed as if Steakboy got free,
    He found he was whacked with a silver trophy!

    “NO ONE WILL DOUBT US”, St. Romeo said,
    “If you do, you’ll get Lombardi upside yo’ head!”
    And with that one whack, the NFL knew,
    That the Seahawks were real, and dangerous, too!

    The Panthers came calling in the first playoff frame,
    Though injured, they were tough, and certainly game.
    Now this was a battle, as defenses fought,
    And through three quarters, a point couldn’t be bought.

    Then late in the fourth, Good Sir CHIKE did come,
    To lay down the wood on a dazed Jake Delhomme.
    This caused Jake to fumble which BOULWARE did see,
    And ran in the touchdown for a Hawk victory!

    “Good BOULWARE! Good BOULWARE!”, St. Romeo said,
    “Are you sure you’re a rookie? It seems that instead…
    “You’ve been in the league for an awful long time,
    “Winning game after game when you came from behind.”

    “St. Romeo”, said BOULWARE, “I’ve waited for this,
    “To play in a scheme that could lead us to bliss.
    “I know I’m a rookie, but believe when I say,
    “The Eagles will freak when they see how I play!”

    Indeed, there were Eagles awaiting our Hawks,
    With a much better record, and a whole lot of talk!
    But they did not know what St. Romeo knew…
    That the Seahawks were real, and dangerous, too!

    So off to the East our Seahawks did go,
    To the nastiest fans that they ever could know.
    And Philly was ready to bring it with force,
    Though T.O. was gone, and they missed him, of course.

    With Trotter and Westbrook and Reid and McNabb,
    These Eagles said, “Seahawks? Just go call a cab!”
    But as the game started, Eagles could not fly,
    They grounded McNabb, and they spit in his eye!

    And after the game, it was McNabb and HASS,
    And McNabb said, “You won it – you just kicked our a**!”
    And now four years standing, the Eagles could not…
    …Become conference champs, though good players they bought.

    St. Romeo gathered his players around,
    And they listened so raptly, not making a sound.
    “Boys, though our team now knows how to click,
    “We must steel ourselves for this King Belichick.”

    “I know this King well – so great he has been,
    “His players are soldiers, and his coaches are MEN!
    “Prince Brady, in Super Bowls, will bring you to mind,
    “Of the ghost of Montana, and that’s not too kind!”

    “He throws off his butt, like Good Favre in Green Bay,
    “But if you’re not aware, he will win the day!
    “I’ve not come this far to get pushed off the blocks,
    “So PROVE to me you’re not those Same Old Seahawks!”

    King Belichick waited down in Jacksonville,
    He knew that St. Romeo would be ready to kill.
    “I know this man well”, he said with a sly grin,
    “But this trophy is mine, and to lose is a sin!”

    With pageantry everywhere and the world on alert,
    St. Romeo readied to bring in the hurt.
    He saw in young BOULWARE an ace up his sleeve,
    And every young Seahawk did firmly believe.

    From kickoff to halftime the Patriots led,
    And Steakboy foresaw that the Seahawks were dead!
    “Since no one can come back on King Belichick,
    “The Seahawks are done, and this time it will stick!”

    Trouble was brewing on the Seahawks’ sideline,
    As drop after drop would burn Hass’ behind.
    K-ROB, and D-JACK and even ENGRAM,
    Were treating the ball like a big Christmas ham!

    But Steakboy was in for another surprise,
    As in front of the world, and before his eyes,
    Young BOULWARE said unto his coach, “Romeo?
    “I can catch the ball, and this you should know!”

    St. Romeo said, “This is how it goes down;
    “Young BOULWARE in the slot covered by that Troy Brown.
    “Let’s match them with schemes of a dangerous sort,
    “And shove the pooh-poohs that the pundits purport!”

    So, tied near the end and barely alive,
    The Seahawks prepared for that one fated drive.
    And on the last play, with a juke and a gun,
    BOULWARE caught the HASS pass, and off he did run!

    He ran past those Pats, into the end zone,
    And onto the field, the Seahawks did come.
    To celebrate the greatest win of their lives,
    And revel in destiny’s honey-filled hives.

    But way from the back, the Zebra did come,
    To once again ruin the Seahawks’ great fun!
    The flag he did throw, and the call did come in,
    “It MUST be a penalty – the Seahawks can’t win!”

    And then, with a quickness, and on the attack,
    St. Romeo came with his big trophy whack!
    “Oh, Zebra, oh, Zebra”, he said with such glee,
    “I hope you like tasting my big Lombardi!”

    The zebra was vanquished, the Seahawks were best!
    King Belichick knew that, and pulled from his vest,
    A crown of such beauty, it tested the eye,
    King Belichick said, with a smirk and a sigh…

    “St. Romeo, you are the new football king,
    “Using the knowledge to you I did bring.
    “Best wishes to all of your soldiers and MEN,
    “You beat us this time…but we’ll see you again!”

    And as these great Seahawks flew back to the West,
    Secure in the knowledge that they were the best,
    The .NETTers awoke from their long winter’s snooze,
    And wondered aloud, “Did our Seahawks LOSE?”

    King Romeo met them with a smile at the door,
    And said, “These are your Same Old Seahawks NO MORE!”
    And all did rejoice, and a BASH did ensue,
    With Black and White Russians, and cold microbrew!

    King Romeo said, as be prepared to leave,
    “We’re coming back hard, and you better believe!
    “We'll KEEP this Lombardi, of that there’s no doubt,
    “And please pick up Pithy…I think he’s passed out!”

    The NETters said, “Lo! It is real and true!
    “The Seahawks are real – and dangerous, too!

    And Romeo said, as he passed out of sight,
    “Merry Christmas to all…and to all a good night!”

Related Topics

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  • RamDez
    Seahawks are happening in Seattle
    by RamDez
    Seahawks are happening in Seattle
    By Lori Shontz

    Of the Post-Dispatch
    10/09/2004
    Coach Mike Holmgren (right) has had a steady rebuilding plan, which has ended up paying dividends for QB Matt Hasselbeck (8).
    (Otto Greule Jr./Getty Images)







    It wasn't that long ago that on the entertaining Underground Seattle tours, which take tourists under the city to see the old city, now buried by a series of natural disasters, that guides used the city's professional football team as a punchline.

    Oh, Seattle's had it's share of disasters Earthquakes, fires . . . Seahawks.

    Quarterback Matt Hasselbeck, who arrived in town for the 2001 season, had no idea such jokes were being told. "That would hurt my feelings," he said. He meant it. The one-liner didn't make him laugh.

    The fact is, Seahawks jokes wouldn't get much of a laugh anymore.

    The Seahawks, who went to the playoffs as a wild card team last season, are returning five Pro Bowl players: Hasselbeck, running back Shaun Alexander, offensive tackle Walter Jones, offensive guard Steve Hutchinson and special teams star Alex Bannister. Their defense, anchored by former Rams lineman Grant Wistrom, is ranked No. 1 in the NFL.

    Although the Rams are the defending NFC West champions, the Seahawks are considered the team to beat, and they are also wearing the label "legitimate Super Bowl contender."

    All this from a team whose road record over the years has been another surefire laugh line, a team that had never quite captured the heart or mind of its city. Rams defensive end Bryce Fisher, who grew up in Seattle, is typical. He and his friends grew up rooting for the Raiders because the Seahawks were so bad.

    But for Sunday's game against the Rams at Quest Field, coach Mike Holmgren is expecting that the sold-out stadium full of screaming fans will be one of his team's advantages.

    "It's kind of like when it first happened in St. Louis," Wistrom said. "How fired up everybody was, how new it was to everybody. And the energy that you can feel. It's very exciting to be a part of something like that again, where everyone's appreciated and fans are fired up about it. All everybody wants to talk about is the 'Hawks right now."

    In this, his sixth season in Seattle after 13 successful seasons at Green Bay, Holmgren has finally put the Seahawks where he always believed they could be.

    "If the organization is willing to stay with you - if they believe in you, first of all . . . and they give you enough time, you should be able to improve," Holmgren said. "And they have done that with us. Now we have pretty good depth, our money situation's in pretty good shape capwise. Hopefully we can keep this thing going and get into the playoffs again."
    ...
    -10-10-2004, 02:17 AM
  • DJRamFan
    [Seahawks] Rams' comeback still in Hawks' heads
    by DJRamFan
    Seattle has struggled ever since St. Louis' Oct. 10 miracle rally

    By CLARE FARNSWORTH
    SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER REPORTER

    KIRKLAND -- They are 11 minutes that will live in infamy.

    With 7 minutes, 47 seconds remaining in a Week 5 game against the St. Louis Rams at Qwest Field, the Seahawks were a couple of guffaws from completing a laugher. Up 27-10, the Seahawks' No. 1-ranked defense had the Rams backed into a third-and-13 corner at their own 31-yard line.

    Before the Seahawks knew what had blindsided them, the Rams ran off 17 points to tie the score in regulation and then scored on the sixth play in overtime to win 33-27.

    Five weeks later in St. Louis, the Rams held the Seahawks without a touchdown in winning a rematch.

    Has the futility of those games, especially that October loss in Seattle, allowed the Rams to take up residence in the Seahawks' psyche?

    "Definitely," Rams defensive end Anthony Hargrove told reporters in St. Louis yesterday. "They've put on a good game, but we've still come away with victories."

    The Seahawks get another shot at redemption Saturday, when they host the Rams once again in the first round of the NFL playoffs.

    That colossal collapse -- or combustive comeback, depending on which side of the field you were on that October day -- is getting a lot of play this week, for the obvious reason.

    After that game, the Seahawks never were the same team that started 3-0.



    "Heck, I could tell you that we've blocked it out of our minds," coach Mike Holmgren said this week. "But that would be dishonest. You play a game like that, and if you lose a game like that ... I'm not sure I'll ever forget that game."

    The Rams, meanwhile, have relied on the resiliency they flaunted that day several times during the dozen games that followed.

    "We've used that a lot this year any time we've faced adversity," quarterback Marc Bulger said in a telephone interview. "A couple weeks ago, we were 6-8 and we knew we had to win our last two. We reflected back to that final quarter of the Seattle game a lot just because of the hole we were in, and knowing we could dig ourselves out."

    For those who have forgotten, or simply couldn't bear to watch, here's how the excavation process went:


    Bulger completed a 20-yard pass to Isaac Bruce on that third-and-13 play, which became a 35-yard gain to the Seahawks 34 when defensive tackle Rocky Bernard was penalized for a blow to the facemask of the Rams quarterback.


    One more third-down conversion, this time a 24-yard pass to Shaun McDonald, set up Bulger's 8-yard touchdown pass to tight end Brandon Manumaleuna that pulled the Rams to within 27-17 with 5:34 left in regulation.
    ...
    -01-06-2005, 04:34 PM
  • Hasselbeck8MVP
    Seahawks v. Rams - Part II
    by Hasselbeck8MVP
    Greetings again Rams fans...tough loss to the Pats today, but I wouldn't be too concerned - you get a Seahawk team that looks softer than Charmin toiletpaper on defense in a week...no Wistrom and more than likely no Ken Lucas (big loss...he had 2 picks in the first meeting).

    Offensively since we lost to you...we sputtered to an embarrasing loss in Arizona, but now seem to be finding our niche again - or simply put..#37 is getting the ball much more than he was earlier in the year, just wish he'd slow down so we can afford to keep him!

    This should be a real hard fought game on Sunday...and if I wasn't worried enough about playing you during a semi-slump, now we get to play a pissed off Rams team that will be very focused and hungry for a stranglehold on the division tiebreakers.

    Good luck this weekend - I'll be floating around here reading your thoughts on this game... :king:
    -11-08-2004, 12:13 AM
  • RamWraith
    Loss to rival St. Louis ends Seattle's season
    by RamWraith
    By José Miguel Romero

    Seattle Times staff reporter

    Seahawks

    They came because they thought their football heroes would truly hear their cheers, and that would carry their team over the top.

    They lined up en masse to get inside Qwest Field for the biggest pro football game in this city in five years, and some even were late because of more thorough security searches.

    And after those five years without a home playoff game, plus 15 more without a playoff win, it ended too fast and too soon. No matter how bad everyone on the field and in the stands wanted it.

    The St. Louis Rams continued their mastery over Seattle, winning yesterday's NFC wild-card game 27-20 and ending the Seahawks' season. It was the third victory of the season for the Rams over the Seahawks, and the most disheartening of all three.

    On the Seahawks' last chance to tie the score, the ball slipped through the grasp of wide receiver Bobby Engram in the end zone, suddenly sucking the life from the crowd of 65,397 that wanted to believe.

    The play will be etched into this city's memory forever, becoming another chapter in the already voluminous another-Seattle-team-that couldn't win-the-big-one book.

    On fourth-and-four from the Rams' 5-yard line with 27 seconds left, Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck attempted to sidearm a prayer of a pass through heavy traffic. Engram was the only possible target, as Hasselbeck was under heavy pressure and couldn't take a sack.

    On his knees, Engram appeared to cradle the ball. In an instant, it popped free and onto the painted turf in the end zone.

    Incomplete. Rams' ball. St. Louis running back Marshall Faulk flapped his arms in mockery of the Seahawks' fans in the south end zone. All hope was gone as quarterback Marc Bulger took a knee and the clock expired.

    "There's no excuses," Engram said in the locker room, trying his best to stay composed as he painfully relived the final offensive play of the Seahawks' season.

    "The ball came in hot. I had a chance to make the play. I didn't make the play."

    Engram will have the offseason to think about what would have been a great catch. But the Seahawks deserved some credit for at least being in a position to send the game into overtime, after all that had transpired and seemed to work against them.

    It couldn't have started much worse. Three plays into the game, Bulger went deep for Torry Holt on a corner route, gaining 53 yards as Holt found a seam in the Seahawks' zone coverage.

    Moments later, on third-and-14 from the Seattle 15, Bulger found Holt in front of safety Marquand Manuel in the end zone for the touchdown. Holt appeared to lose control of the ball for a split second. The Seahawks challenged the touchdown call, but it was upheld. ...
    -01-09-2005, 11:44 AM
  • Nick
    Seahawks looking for redemption against Rams
    by Nick
    Seahawks looking for redemption against Rams
    By TIM KORTE
    AP SPORTS WRITER

    SEATTLE -- It was the game that has defined the season for the Seattle Seahawks - a collapse that's been questioned, dissected and rehashed since mid-October.

    Perhaps the most infamous 11 minutes in franchise history.

    "When all of us are done playing, we'll still remember it as one of the most embarrassing games we've ever played," cornerback Ken Lucas said. "You never forget a game like that."

    The St. Louis Rams rallied for a 33-27 win Oct. 10, erasing a 17-point deficit with 8:47 to play and scoring less than 3 minutes into overtime. With an almost unbelievable turn of events, they stunned the Seahawks.

    "Given the time that was left, the perfect chain of events had to take place for the Rams to have a chance," Seattle coach Mike Holmgren said.

    That's exactly what happened, but Seattle gets another shot this weekend.

    The Rams - who also beat the Seahawks 23-12 in St. Louis a few weeks later - return for Saturday's wild-card playoff, revisiting the site of their hallmark victory during a frustrating season.

    "We've used that a lot this year, any time we've faced some adversity," Rams quarterback Marc Bulger said. "A couple of weeks ago, we were 6-8 and we knew we had to win our last two. We reflected back to that final quarter in Seattle."

    What a quarter it was.

    Seattle led 27-10 after Josh Brown's 34-yard field goal with 8:47 to go. St. Louis made it 27-17 on Brandon Manumaleuna's circus catch with 5:43 on the clock, then Kevin Curtis caught a 41-yard TD pass to make it 27-24 with 3:37 remaining.

    St. Louis got the ball again, leading to a 36-yard field goal by Jeff Wilkins with 13 seconds left. On the sixth play from scrimmage in overtime, Bulger read an all-out blitz and flipped a 52-yard TD pass to Shaun McDonald.

    "Unbelievable feeling. It was one of those great feelings in sports," St. Louis safety Adam Archuleta said.

    "What it comes down to is you've got guys making plays," Rams coach Mike Martz explained. "There's nothing magical about what we were doing. The thing you talk about with these guys is attitude and never giving in to anything."

    How did it look from Seattle's side? Let's just say there were some really unfortunate events.

    Rocky Bernard was assessed a 15-yard penalty for hitting Bulger's face mask during a 20-yard completion on third-and-13. Shaun Alexander was stopped on third-and-1 to force one punt and Matt Hasselbeck was sacked for a 12-yard loss on third-and-5.

    The Rams earned that win, no doubt, but the Seahawks gave it away.

    "I probably needed to be humbled. I just want to say that I've learned my lesson,"...
    -01-07-2005, 01:26 PM
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